


Whatever it Costs

by futomomo



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Addiction, Angst, Anxiety Disorder, BAMF Okumura Eiji, Blood and Injury, Depression, Drug Use, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Okumura Eiji Is a Mess, Okumura Eiji Needs a Hug, Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Underage Drinking, hahahha sorry guys, i mean whos getting fixed haha! sorry eiji bb, maybe..., more angst bc i hate myself but there are some!! fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:28:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29774817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futomomo/pseuds/futomomo
Summary: What if Eiji had a chance to go back? For seven years he thought about fixing every mistake, every single misstep he had made in New York, every time he was a liability, every person who died because of him. Ever since he got the call that Ash Lynx, his Aslan, was dead he knew he didn't have anything here for him in the present.But what about the past?*time travel fix it au, where eiji tries to fix everything while he breaks inside :D haha
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 26
Kudos: 106





	1. Moonlight

**Author's Note:**

> its in the tags, but TW: suicide and self harm. it's more just referenced in later chapters by eiji, but it is somewhat graphicly described here! it's important to the story and laying the groundwork for the fic, but in the notes at the end there's a summary if you don't want to read it

Eiji shifted, sheets tangling around his legs. He didn’t bother to look at the digital clock on his nightstand, he already knew it was well past midnight by looking at the starry sky outside his window. He couldn’t remember the last time he was able to sleep well or feel rested. Actually, he corrected himself, he could.

_Dingy concrete walls, plain bedding and flimsy mattresses. It was nothing like the comfy futons Eiji was used to, or the softness of the hospital bed he had stayed at. However, Eiji felt a sense of ‘home’, belonging, and peace. The small cracked window let the moonlight wash over him and the figure laying with him. Ash was already falling asleep as Eiji combed through those golden locks with his hands. Even with all the horrible things happening, all the people who had hurt, were trying to hurt Ash, the lynx was here snuggled up next to Eiji with his guard down. It might have been the best feeling, that Aslan trusted Eiji and found comfort. He sighed and closed his eyes. No matter what happened, as long as he had this, that was something._

Eiji could remember in fine detail when he had felt safe enough to rest, when he last felt he deserved to let his walls crumble and retreat into dreams. There was no retreat for him though, the nightmares haunted him at night, visions of Ash, Skip, Shorter, all dying because he couldn’t do anything. Sometimes he saw himself holding the gun, the knife, that ended their lives, because in all fairness it was his fault. Other times it was Eiji in Shorter’s place, as it should have been, getting a bullet in the heart while looking into those jade eyes. Still, the death and sorrow that plagued him when he closed his eyes was better than during waking hours.

When Eiji could push himself out of bed it was only a reminder that he was terribly alone. He had a king bed, one big enough for someone else to crawl in beside him and press into his side when the nightmares were too strong. There was no one else though. Just cold empty spaces and unwrinkled sheets.

Even with all the emptiness, he felt suffocated. He felt choked trying to claw his way out of the void he jumped into. Sometimes he could pretend he succeeded, whenever Ibe or Sing decided to swing by. He would put on his well worn mask, pretend he was working on a new project and that’s why he couldn’t pick up his phone or answer calls. It was difficult to hold up the facade and dip his head out of the chasm of darkness, but Eiji managed with a few pills, artificial serotonin and chemicals made to put a smile on his face. He feared it was terribly obvious he was off the deep end, but if anyone noticed, they kept silent. 

He kept everything hidden. His emotions. The orange bottles and tiny plastic bags with powder. Pieces of jagged metal. Bloody bandages. Empty glasses and cigarettes that reminded him of his father. If anything he kept the apartment clean, spotless, and he liked to imagine it was Ash who made the mess and Eiji would reprimand him before taking out trash bags and a broom.

But it was quite clear what the truth was.

Ash was gone, taken too soon. Eiji hadn’t gotten the call until he was back in Japan, already planning what to do when Ash came to visit, thinking of all the things they could do now that they were safe. Well, safer than they had been. It was a bombshell to say the least, and Eiji couldn’t quite believe it. Why? Why was he alive when his soulmate wasn’t? The grief was all encompassing and it tore at him viciously. He had to struggle not to scream when Alex had told him the news, just silently stared ahead with tears running down his face.

Even seven years later he was in a limbo of denial and one step from falling into the abyss. Or maybe he had already fallen too deep to be saved. It was that day that Eiji decided it was enough. He couldn’t keep digging that hole deeper, keep thinking of events almost a decade past.

It was at three in the morning in a dingy apartment in Queens where Eiji knew, finally, what he was going to do.

He opened the drawer next to the bed and dug out the various bottles. He didn’t look, just dumped the colorful pills into his hand. He washed it down with whatever concoction was in the flask on his nightstand. A few lines. Some more pills. His heart felt slow but it beat stronger than it had felt in seven years. He took out the small knife he kept under his pillow. The hilt was marbled and ornate, the blade small as it glinted in the moonlight. It was a gift from Ash, a small treasure he held dearly. As it tore through his flesh and warmth bled onto his sides he felt a small bit of guilt but it was quickly washed away. His hands were growing sluggish but he managed to inflict enough damage. He looked out the window. The moon was high in the sky, and as he let the chemicals take hold, he could almost feel like he was back on those cheap mattresses, and the moonlight was coming through the same small window with the cracked glass.

He could feel the thumping in his chest getting slower, fainter, as a smile set on his serene face. He imagined the warmth dripping on his arms and legs was an embrace.

He would be able to see Ash soon.

Eiji felt peace for the first time in a long, long while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basically eiji tried to live for ash for 7 years, but he couldn't take it, it's implied he was addicted to drugs and self-harmed. it seems like he is going to start trying to move on but really he decided to give up. he ends up committing suicide and thinks he will finally get to see ash.
> 
> i will probably be updating with small chapters as soon as i finish them! writing for me is best in short bursts when i can focus, so yea.... ! hope you guys like this and stay with this fic! :)


	2. Divine Intervention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was it a dream? No, it was more of a nightmare. However, as he fisted his hands in the fabric armrest it felt way too real. This wasn’t fake, he was really here. Maybe it was one last dying wish, getting to see Ash again. He would have been perfectly happy to see his beloved in the afterlife and have died in peace but… This, this was something tangible, he could change everything from this moment. Shorter, Skip, his Aslan, he would save all of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyyy im on a writing spree! 12-3am is prime hyperfocus hours, im gonna try to update regularly and stick to writing at night and being productive,,
> 
> NOTE: itallics is when eiji/ibe are speaking in japanese

Darkness.

  
  
  


Eiji felt his whole body shake. He waited for it to stop, but as he became more conscious of his surroundings he could hear people talking and strange white noise. Shit. Did he end up in a hospital? Did Sing decide to check up on him like usual and have to bang the doors down only to see Eiji’s body sprawled out, bleeding and cold? 

He didn’t want to open his eyes to a white ceiling and fluorescent lights, worried faces and creased brows. 

Just as Eiji was damning himself for messing up, as always, he felt a hand grip his arm. He flinched, eyes snapping open. 

_“Eiji are you alright? We’re landing soon, a friend of mine will meet us at the airport. No need to be nervous!”_

Ibe’s kind eyes stared back at him and Eiji almost couldn’t process the words spoken in his mother language. Plane? Right, the shaking was actually the soft turbulence, the white noise wasn’t in his head, it was from the engines.

But wait… Why? Eiji felt his heart continue to drop as he looked down. No blood, not even surgical bandages covering his arms. Looking closer he was wearing clean clothes for once too. This made no sense and his head felt like it was stuffed with cotton as he tried to make sense of what was happening.

He almost forgot Ibe was still holding his arm until the man gave it a squeeze and Eiji turned his attention back to his mentor.

Eiji gave a dumb nod to the question asked probably minutes ago and tried to figure out what the fuck was happening. The setting was nostalgic but it seemed like he couldn’t remember when it happened. Planes… He had only flown to New York, then back to Japan, back to his own personal hell. He had then returned to America once again to live near Sing. 

So what was going on?

He tentatively looked back to Ibe. The man looked leagues younger now, features still worn and creased, but more carefree than since he had last seen him. Eiji hesitated as his stomach plummeted before asking, 

_“Ibe, where are we going? Sorry, I can’t…”_ he breathed in and the air caught in his throat, _“um, I can’t remember,”_

The elder looked concerned before responding, _“New York, we are going to do that story on American gangs, and their leader. Are you sure you’re okay Ei-chan? I understand this may be a lot for you considering…”_

The man trailed off as Eiji tried to process those words. Was it a dream? No, it was more of a nightmare. However, as he fisted his hands in the fabric armrest it felt way too real. This wasn’t fake, he was really here. Maybe it was one last dying wish, getting to see Ash again. He would have been perfectly happy to see his beloved in the afterlife and have died in peace but… This, this was something tangible, he could change everything from this moment. Shorter, Skip, his Aslan, he would save all of them. 

The thoughts flitted through his mind quickly before he responded to Ibe. He needed to keep on his toes, if Ibe thought he was going through some type of mental break then he would be flown back to Izumo as soon as they landed. 

_“I’m fine Ibe, just had a deep sleep. When are we doing the interview? I wanted to see a little bit of the city before we started working,”_ Eiji forced what he hoped was a convincing smile onto his face. 

_“Hmm… well we were supposed to meet up with my contact and go straight with him to the location, but it wouldn’t hurt to check into the hotel and roam around for awhile,”_ Ibe’s worried tone had been replaced with an optimistic one and Eiji felt a bit guilty for manipulating his mentor. 

Eiji gave a small smile before retreating into his head. Last time Eiji hadn’t been interested in sight-seeing at all even though Ibe had encouraged him. While the trip to America was supposed to be some sort of treatment for his depressive mood Eiji had really just taken the ticket to get away from his mother and father. Therefore he wasn’t actually quite as excited for the ‘experience’ and wanted to work for the majority of the trip, at least before it all went to shit. His request to go sightseeing had been a gamble, but he banked on his mentor latching onto the hopeful and enlivened tone, something that had not been used in a while.

Eiji planned out the time he had before meeting Ash. Ideally he would meet up with him as soon as possible, but in the end Eiji knew he needed to change the course of events from seven years ago as much as he could.

He couldn’t go in unprepared if he wanted to save Skipper. The memories were hazy but he could remember most of the timeline. When they arrived at the dingy bar Ibe and he had floated around for a while with Skip approaching Eiji. They had talked for less than an hour before Eiji asked about Ash’s gun. Even thinking of that memory, that automatic trust, made his heart hurt, but he pushed it down and continued to piece events together. Soon after there was a surprise attack….

Shit. If he took too long to get the things he needed then they might arrive after the attack, with Skipper taken hostage all by himself. Eiji refused to let that happen. He resolved to get everything that evening and not risk going out in the morning, he needed to arrive on time to befriend Skip and talk a bit with Aslan. 

Eiji was a bundle of nerves. He wanted to just go with his previous actions and play it safe, but last time that had ended with Skip dead. He needed to focus and think rationally, if not a little reckless. His inner turmoil was interrupted by an all too cheery voice over the intercom,

“Good afternoon passengers! We are arriving at JFK airport in approximately twenty minutes! Please make sure tray tables are raised and luggage is put away,”

Eiji bit his fingernail as he tried to sort out the most efficient way to spend the night before arriving and meeting the gang. First of all, he needed a fucking smoke. A bad habit he picked up after quitting pole vaulting but subsequently ended after arriving in America. Still, he needed some nicotine in his body about fifteen minutes ago along with a few uppers. He planned to somehow separate from Ibe and linger around some corner or alleyway until he was approached by some dealer or another. Even though Eiji wasn’t part of the gang or their business he still paid attention to the small groups of teens who would huddle in the shadows and exchange money for drugs. He needed to be aware of everything this time around and the easiest way was to fall back on pills, plus it seemed like even time-travel couldn’t take away his ache for some vibrant colored candies. 

It wouldn't be too hard to get a gun since he remembered the names and faces of a few of Cain's men. As long as he didn't look like a cop and had a wad of cash he could get one easily. Deep down he knew when he would be taken hostage they would probably make sure he had no weapons on him. He should still get a firearm anyways though, there was no way anyone in Ash's gang would get one for him once he settled in. They had trusted him but he hadn't been able to shot for fuck all back then. Something that inconspicuous wouldn’t be smart for the time being. However a small switchblade from some cheap gift store would suffice, maybe two actually…

As the turbulence ramped up Eiji went through it again in his head. He couldn’t afford to fuck this up again. If by some divine fate he was given a chance to right all the wrongs then he would. He would do whatever it took.


	3. Lost Nostalgia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eiji then remembered he would have to pretend Sing and he were complete strangers. They were amicable before Ash had died, but only after Eiji moved to New York did their friendship deepen. Turns out shared grief was a hell of a bond and the two became quite close over the years. Even though Eiji opened the door for Sing less and less as he took the company of drugs and alcohol he still enjoyed the quiet moments where they would smoke on the balcony in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE**** REREAD CHAPTER 2!!
> 
> i fucked up the timeline because i haven't watched bananafish in so long! eiji and ibe arrive in new york and spend the night before they meet the gang after looking at the wiki and rewatching,, so basically eiji has the whole evening to do whatever instead of like 30 minutes like i thought 
> 
> therefore i edited and rewrote a bit of CH2 so! just wanted to let you guys know if youre confused with the events in this chapter

Eiji was practically vibrating with nervous energy as the plane landed and they got their bags. He was glad to be back in New York despite all the things that had gone wrong both before and after Aslan’s death.

In the years after Ash’s demise Eiji had suffered in Japan, becoming a shut in as his depression consumed him. His parents didn’t understand why their son was so broken even after he tried to explain. His hometown Izumo was peaceful and quiet, there were no criminals or gangs, they could barely comprehend how he had gotten shot. Eiji’s grief had consumed him and Ibe was a first hand witness, the man had been the one to suggest moving back to New York to be near Sing. 

Eiji had only wished he took that advice earlier. By the time he had decided to rent a small apartment in Brooklyn and had landed in New York he was too late yet again. Bones had died in a small shootout, bled out on the floor before they could get him an ambulance. Kong was shot a few months afterwards. Alex was still breathing but he was a shell of himself after losing his friends, he had tried to keep business running but Eiji saw in his eyes he was defeated. 

Sing was somewhat of a saving grace. He was still strong despite all the shit he went through and Eiji admired him for that but he also knew the same mindset wouldn’t be possible for him. He thrived in New York, but in all the wrong ways. He fit in like before, but instead of being Ash’s right hand he was another shift stranger looking for a high. Eiji had to admit he was thankful for Ibe’s suggestion, there was no way he could have stayed this long without the drugs and ecstasy that were so accessible in America. 

Speaking of, Eiji had to figure out a way to wheedle himself away from Ibe. As much as he was confident in himself after having lived in the city for five years, he didn’t trust his nineteen year old baby face from looking intimidating enough to not get mugged. The earlier he got what he needed the better plus he needed a few hours to actually lay out a plan. He couldn’t just be reckless if this was his only chance to save the ones he loved. 

~*~*~*~

It had been surprisingly easy to convince Ibe to let him go on his own. Apparently it only took a few face aching smiles and sentences about ‘wanting to be independent’ and that he ‘could handle himself’ before Ibe begrudgingly agreed and told Eiji he would be working at the hotel. There were probably a few other words about being safe in a foreign country but Eiji was out the door as the words were uttered. 

Looking down at his outfit he cringed, it was a wonder that he hadn’t been turned away at the door when he had met the gang. Moreso it was a miracle he hadn’t gotten mugged since he screamed naive tourist with zero self defence skills. Due to this tragic mess he had changed into a simple grey hoodie and black jeans along with his backpack. It was plain, but certainly better than whatever old nineteen year old Eiji thought was ‘fashionable’. 

He slid his wallet out of his pocket and counted the bills. He was certainly glad now that he had brought a large amount of money with him but he did feel a bit guilty spending actual hard earned money on something criminal… he felt less so after thinking about the rush from nicotine and amphetamines. Yeah, this was alright.

Eiji stopped by the corner bodega first, casually slipping in before browsing the aisles. He decided it wouldn’t be bad to have some first aid on him just in case and picked up a few boxes of plasters. He also took a look at the sealed pocket knifes and picked out two of them before heading to the register.

The cashier looked at him unimpressed before ringing up the items.

“This all?” He said, not looking very interested in prolonging the conversation.

Eiji internally sighed before pointing behind the man, “Two packs of Newports please, and a lighter,” 

The cashier retrieved them before Eiji handed him a wad of bills and exited. Either trauma had made him look less like a highschooler or the man really hadn’t cared to ask for ID. Eiji honestly didn’t care as he inhaled the sweet nicotine. 

The smell was nostalgic in more than one way. His parents were both heavy smokers, often lighting one inside and not bothering to open a window. Even before he picked up the habit he would smell like cigarettes. Sing also partook in the occasional smoke when he visited Eiji. The memory made him ache a bit as he remembered he would have to pretend Sing and he were complete strangers. They were amicable before Ash had died, but only after Eiji moved to New York did their friendship deepen. Turns out shared grief was a hell of a bond and the two became quite close over the years. Even though Eiji opened the door for Sing less and less as he took the company of drugs and alcohol he still enjoyed the quiet moments where they would smoke on the balcony in silence.

He found his feet taking him on a familiar route. Eiji paused outside the library. The nostalgia hit hard and his eyes ached with tears unshed.

_“Ash was stabbed… I’m- … I’m sorry Eiji, by the time someone noticed it was too late. He had gone to the library to read your letter. He died at peace though, you shouldn’t blame yourself.”_

The words rang like gunshots in his head.

Like hell. If Eiji hadn’t been pathetic he would have gone and delivered the letter himself, wheelchair and all. His chest tightened as he stared on the building for a bit longer. It just reminded him of all the mistakes he made last time. Mistakes he could not afford to make in the present.

Eiji was shaken out of the memory as a stranger almost plowed him over. He flexed his fingers and noticed they were shaking He breathed in the smoke with a rattled breath. It wouldn’t do well to dwell on the past where Ash wasn’t there. 

He navigated the streets of downtown New York like he was born there, cigarette in hand and eyes straight ahead. He made it to the corner familiar to past timelines Eiji, one run by Black Sabbath for a short while. He saw a few familiar faces look up from talking before resuming their conversations. He took a quick drag before tossing the butt of his cigarette and walking up to Killer Bee, one of the people he recognized.

The man surveyed him and Eiji hoped he didn’t look too much like some type of police informant sniffing out gangs… Shit that’s technically what he was though right? Well, he was here now.

The man spoke in a gruff voice, “What’re you here for? Types like you usually stick to Chinatown, unless you’re looking for something you can’t get there,”

Eiji grit his teeth before responding, “I’m not affiliated with them, but I heard Black Sabbath was the place to go for some unregistered merchandise,” he raised an eyebrow before Killer Bee huffed and waved him past the groups of people.

“What do you want? We have the typical revolvers and handguns, I assume nothing too fancy like an uzi or F2000 based on your…” he paused giving Eiji another once over.

Eiji chuckled a bit before pointing at a simple black gun, “Just a glock 17 is good, do you have any spare cartridges and ammo?” 

Killer Bee gave him a smirk before pulling out the items and putting his hand out.

Eiji handed him a sufficient wad of cash before he took the glock and stuffed it into his waistband before putting the spare ammo and cases in his pack.

The man paused as he counted and pocketed the cash, folding his arms and leaning against the alley wall.

“I said it before but I haven’t seen you around, but you seem to know your stuff. Don’t sound like you’re from here either huh?”

Eiji huffed before taking out another cigarette and lighting it. Might as well be truthful for the time being, if not at least vague.

“I’m not, I’m actually from Japan. Guns are illegal there unless you’re part of the syndicate or absurdly rich, but I was still interested in them. I’ve been in the city for a bit so I thought why not?” 

“And I’m guessing you weren’t part of this syndicate shit?” Eiji let out a soft huff of laughter before shaking his head.

“No, the yakuza are all just bastards. They’re money hungry men who take over any other factions in the area. Pay off a bunch of officials in Japan for whatever they want too,” 

Killer Bee laughed a bit at that before giving him a nod of approval. Eiji knew Black Sabbath were pretty neutral before joining with Ash and they all hated how Golzine was trying to take over New York just for the money and power.

They stood in silence for a bit before Eiji bid his goodbyes and left to buy some more illicit products. Nice.

~*~*~*~

He felt a little less nervous and more of a thrum of energy as he went to get his array of drugs. With the amount of money he had he could get what he needed with some left over. After getting kidnapped he hadn’t actually used any of the cash brought with him so he wasn’t too worried. More like he was more excited to splurge on some drugs after not using since he was teleported or whatever the hell happened.

While it was a risk, he headed into Chinatown area nonetheless. There was a risk he would see Shorter or Sing which would be pretty awkward since he was only supposed to see the former after the whole hostage situation, and the latter after… Eiji didn’t want to think about meeting Sing over the circumstances of before.

Instead of going to the heart of Chinatown where he was more likely to run into people he knew he went to the edges of Shorter’s turf.After pulling his hood up to ease some of his worries he 

walked to the dingy alleyways he had become familiar with after delving into the world of substances and bad coping mechanisms. Did it count as a bad coping mechanism if he hadn’t actually endured the traumatic events yet? 

The setup was similar to the Black Sabbath’s, a few small groups huddled together, a few customers trading hands and exchanging money. Eiji had to stop the excitement going through him as he rationalized. He needed to be alert and he could only really do so with some uppers in him. While he wanted to rely on himself to be aware of his surroundings and ability to protect Ash and the others, he had long since lost that trust with himself. 

That mantra of ‘necessary’ ran through his head as he approached one of the men he definitely didn’t know, and who was probably a bit high himself.

“Can I get some uppers? Speed, adderall, coke, anything like that. Some xanax or klonopin too if you have it.”

“Know your stuff huh? Yea we got some of that, how much do you need?” He brought out a small bag of white powder along with some orange and blue pills. Eiji was more used to the ‘party drugs’ in vibrant colors and stamped with smiley faces, but it would have to do.

He responded by flashing some more bills and saying he would take however much that would pay for. The other let out a low whistle before passing him the product along with a few other odds and ends. 

Eiji nodded in thanks before asking what pills were downers, because honestly it would suck ass if he went into tomorrow sluggish thinking he had taken some stimulants.

The man raised an eyebrow before listing off what he had bought and Eiji was on his way. 

~*~*~*~

It turned out he arrived back at the hotel way after whatever ‘curfew’ Ibe had set and Eiji cringed a bit as the elder quickly scowled after he let out a sigh of relief.

_“Eiji do you know how worried I was? I know we agreed this trip was to help you get some independence, but you are unfamiliar with this country, this city, and it’s dangerous to be outside so late!”_

Eiji let out a chuckle before sitting on the bed. Ibe only raised his eyebrows at the reaction before Eiji responded, 

_“Sorry Ibe, I got caught up looking around. I didn’t mean to be a hindrance, I’ll make sure to be safe when we ah .. interview those gang members tomorrow.”_

Yeah the sass was a little unwarranted but Eiji found the whole situation ironic given the events that were to precede the next few days.

Instead of getting reprimanded Ibe seemed to take this as an apology and huffed before letting Eiji know he was going to shower

Eiji sighed and took out one of the white pills before dry swallowing as he laid back on the hotel mattress. The gun stabbed into his back where he had put it earlier but the discomfort was welcome. It was a reminder that he wasn’t defenceless now. He wasn’t going to be the damsel in distress for the Lynx 

Never again.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so happy with the support i got from the first two chapters!! :) thank you so much for reading, it means a lot! 
> 
>   
> sorry the plot is moving a bit slow, im pretty bad at doing 'skips' in a story or the like, but ill try to post longer chapters when the not very interesting stuff is happening (such as this chapter)


	4. Love at Second Sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The other man, well honestly he looked a little too young to be labeled a man, but he intrigued Ash. While his appearance screamed bambi, innocent and naive, he also seemed in his element. None of the awkward body language that his mentor was displaying, he almost gave an air of confidence despite being surrounded by a crowd of armed strangers in a foreign country. Those dark eyes bore into Ash, like there was nobody else in the room except for them. This one was interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the way its taken four chapters to get to the action,,, thank you for the overwhelming support though!! im honestly really surprised and im glad people are interested in this fic :)
> 
> also i noticed how ooc i wrote eiji, but i definitely used garden of light as inspo! plus im better at writing monologuing rather than interactions lmao,, he still has that somewhat childish and awkward attitude but its taken a backseat for the time being (but perhaps you shall see that side of him soon hehe)

The whole night before meeting Ash was spent concocting a comprehensible plan for the events of the next day. Whatever was in that small white pill worked like a charm and Eiji stayed up for hours writing and crossing out different plans of action. He was lucky Ibe slept like the dead otherwise he would have to rely on his memory while hopped up on some type of stimulant. The guilt of harboring and taking hard drugs next to his mentor was miniscule in comparison to the relief he felt when he mapped out the events of the next day.

Essentially Eiji planned to act as ‘normal’ old Eiji and retrace the steps he had taken the first time. However, that didn’t mean he was willing to go into this blind with his hands tied. The pocket knife he had bought from the day before would be snug in his shoe and although it was quite unnecessary, he took one of the baggies from the Chinatown dealer and fit it into his pocket. He didn’t want to nod off in a dirty warehouse at the mercy of despicable men was the reasoning he gave, albeit the statement was weak. From what Eiji remembered they didn’t check Skipper or him very thoroughly, probably due to the fact that they kidnapped one of the least capable people in the room along with a child. 

Despite the fact that he just had to redo his previous actions, Eiji felt a gnawing at his gut. One single misstep could throw him completely out of the loop. This was the main reason for why he didn’t opt to drop hints about an attack to Ash or Skip. First of all he would look guilty as hell, a random foreigner talking nonsense to two people who didn’t know anything about him? That was just asking to be labeled ‘Arthur’s secret henchman/spy’ and Eiji felt revolted at getting lumped in with that jackass. 

The main point being that he couldn’t alter the timeline in a significant way or else he wouldn’t know what was coming next. That brought up another issue though. Altering deaths surely had to be a major change? What if it was a life for a life exchange?

The gun seemed to weigh ten times heavier in his hands. He had seen death over and over, whether in his nightmares or right before his eyes. Taking that life was a whole other matter though. Ash had told him in vague terms about the weight of the souls he had taken, how it broke him even though the people he had killed were horrible. Eiji wasn’t sure if he could endure that along with the amount of pressure he already felt… He didn’t even know if he would be capable of pulling the trigger when the time came. He was certainly a better shot now than he had been the first time but that wasn’t the point.

Eiji stared at the pieces of paper scrawled with his handwriting. In the right hand corner there was a list of deaths from his timeline. Just surveying the names made his heart clench and tighten. His claim that he would do whatever it took seemed to echo in his mind. How easy the phrase had been spoken in his head, but thinking about it now Eiji felt a hint of uneasiness. He fisted his hair in his hands and let out a shaky sigh before scrubbing a few tears away. He had to do this. 

Just as he thought those resolute words that sealed his fate he saw a sliver of light through the closed curtains. There was no time to waste. Eiji quickly scanned the notes for the fiftieth time, trying to run through every contingency plan laid out before him. He quickly folded the pieces up and shoved them into one of the books he had brought with him. He wanted access to the notes but at the same time it would be quite embarrassing if Ibe or Ash came across the torn pieces of paper with a mix of manically written Japanese and English. 

While the book was safely tucked in his backpack Eiji took one of his duffel bags and placed the newly purchased glock and bullets in between the folds of clothing. Rubbing his eyes Eiji walked into the bathroom to ‘freshen up’ and take a shower. Just taking a glance at his reflection made him cringe. His mussed black hair made the paleness of his face stand out that much more. The complexion was less reminiscent of Ash’s milky porcelain skin and more like a sickly patient. Eiji also noticed the prominent bags hanging beneath his bloodshot eyes. He could only thank God that his irises were too dark to notice his blown pupils. 

Just doing that one onceover made Eiji’s skin crawl a bit and it reminded him how different he looked. This was the same body from his teens but barely twenty four hours from waking up in it and he looked wrecked. Well, he had already started, might as well finish. He brought up another tablet and swallowed it with the tap water from the faucet before starting up the shower. He needed to give some resemblance of ‘put together’ to gain Aslan’s trust upon first gaze.

Stepping out of the steam he glared at the memory of the clothes he had set out for his first meeting with Ash. There was no way he was going to go prep school greenie to see his soulmate for the first time in seven years. Instead he pulled on a pair of dark blue slacks and a white undershirt before buttoning up a cream colored long sleeve. He begrudgingly threw on a brown sweater too to fit his ‘assistant’ vibe before walking out of the bathroom. Eiji waited for Ibe to get ready as he went over the steps again. They were thoroughly cemented in his brain at this point, but it couldn’t hurt.

Eiji was brought out of his thoughts as Ibe called to him that they were leaving. He slipped on his left shoe before struggling to pull on the right. The concealed knife uncomfortably pressed up against his foot but the small comfort of having a weapon was just a tad greater. 

~*~*~*~

The ride to the police station had Eiji fidgeting impatiently. That or he was tweaking. The taxi was stuffy and the driver had the radio too loud, and in all honesty Eiji just wanted to see Ash already. Ibe put a hand on his leg and Eiji huffed before pouting.

_“Are you that anxious for the interview? Your English isn’t that bad Ei-chan!”_ Ibe chuckled before Eiji grimaced and decided to speak his mind.

“I’m not worried Ibe, just a bit… impatient. I am excited to be doing something interesting for once, even though you say this could be dangerous,” he responded with a slight accent. His English had not been horrible before, but it was certainly more refined now after living in America for a few years and using the language more than his mother tongue.

The response seemed to have shocked Ibe as he gave a small smile and rubbed his neck.

“It seems even after pole-vaulting you can’t help but get a tad enlivened by taking risks,”

Eiji let out a huff of laughter before the driver called out that they had arrived. While Ibe put a few bills in his hand, Eiji stepped out in front of the police station feeling out of his element. He honestly wasn’t thrilled to meet Charlie and Jenkins again, he’d rather converse with Max, who was currently sitting in a jail cell. While he knew the cops meant well, they still had a twisted sense of justice that Eiji disliked, not to mention that he himself could be arrested right now for drug possession and purchase of an unregistered firearm… At this thought Eiji paled a bit before remembering all the laws he was going to break in the coming months (and how he could have been classified a criminal in his other timeline). 

As much as he wanted to reminisce on the irony of entering the police station with contraband he focused on following Ibe inside the building. While his mentor chatted with Charlie, Eiji tried to calm his nerves just a little. He didn’t even notice when Jenkins had entered the room, but as he tuned into the conversation he wished he hadn’t tried to pay attention.

“Are you helping your father?” 

Eiji’s eye twitched before evenly responding, “No, I’m Ibe’s assistant actually,” Ibe flinched at the sass as he continued, “Eiji Okumura. Nineteen years old, I’m a college student,”

Jenkins and Charlie looked surprised and a little embarrassed as Ibe tried to force out a laugh and gave a few quips about how Eiji looked young even for a Japanese.

To that remark Jenkins said thoughtfully, “Perhaps that's a good thing, they don’t really trust adults,”

The comment made Eiji’s blood rise a few degrees before he bit out, “Maybe that’s for a good reason,”

It wasn’t a fair response in all honesty, it wasn’t like they really knew the things these teenagers had to go through… Still, they were cops for fucks sake, they _should_ know the type of shit that happens to kids, the types of things that make children find comfort in gangs rather than their own homes. Eiji could relate to the members on that part… He was sure if he was able to escape his stifling house in Izumo earlier he would have done so.

Jenkins didn’t seem too keen on Eiji’s answer though as he grimaced and Ibe once again looked like he was caught in the crossfire. However, Charlie’s next words shocked Eiji a bit.

“You’re right. In all honesty the only adults they’ve really met have probably tried to get them arrested and take them away,”

There was a beat of silence until the conversation continued, Ibe seemed a little more concerned about the ‘danger’ of the streetgangs, and Eiji held back a chuckle. To him they were a second family, sure some had blood on their hands and they could be intimidating at times, but every person was capable of those things. Eiji looked at his palms… even him.

~*~*~*~

They walked down the streets of New York, following a small figure. When Eiji first saw Skip again he started to tear up. All he wanted to do was hug his small frame and hide him away, but deep inside he knew he couldn’t do that. Instead, he made small talk with the kid, asking him about his favorite places to visit around the city. It was hard not to pester Skipper with questions about Ash.

_‘What’s he like?’_

  
  
  


_“How has he been doing?’_

  
  
  
  
  


_‘Is he taking care of himself?’_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_“Does he still love me?’_

Eiji flushed at his inner monologue. Skip looked up at him with those wide chocolate eyes and Eiji chuckled a bit before walking up to the entryway. Ibe seemed to hesitate once he took in the dirty walls filled with graffiti and… Hmm, yes that was vomit on the staircase. 

_“Getting scared Ibe?”_ Eiji snarked to which the older gave an exasperated sigh and followed the other two.

Skip opened the doorway and they were met with a variety of disinterested stares, a few intimidated glares, as well as some curious onlookers. Eiji entered the room with ease, searching out a mop of golden hair. His heart pounded with each step he took as he trailed behind Skipper.

“Hey Ash, your guests from Japan just arrived!” 

Eiji wanted to weep as his eyes met Aslan’s. The jade green of his irises seemed brighter than when he remembered, more intense and vibrant than ever before. Ibe was talking but Eiji tuned him out, trying to memorize every feature on Ash’s face. He almost thought it would be a cruel joke, he would wake up in a second just to realize it was a dream, a fantasy.

Eiji was falling all over again, and twice as hard.

~*~*~*~

Ash stared at his two ‘guests’, giving the pair a once over. The older one who was speaking to him seemed uncomfortable, like he expected to get thrown out by one of the ‘thugs’ any second. He internally smirked at that, a journalist doing a column on street gangs without really researching the threat said gangs posed. 

The other man, well honestly he looked a little too young to be labeled a man, but he intrigued Ash. While his appearance screamed bambi, innocent and naive, he also seemed in his element. None of the awkward body language that his mentor was displaying, he almost gave an air of confidence despite being surrounded by a crowd of armed strangers in a foreign country. Those dark eyes bore into Ash, like there was nobody else in the room except for them. He was a little… intense. 

They took a few pictures of him, none including his face. Ash sighed as the younger kept silent. 

“I didn’t know they let kids be assistants in Japan,” he quipped, catching his attention.

The other huffed before replying, “I’m actually older than you,”

His voice was soft but the bite of sass made Ash chuckle, “Well excuse me, I would have thought from your appearance you were a child,”

The man seemed to set his jaw and finished packing up the camera. Huh.

Ash continued to converse with Alex at the bar and he almost forgot about the two outsiders that were lingering in the room. That was, before he heard that same voice from behind him.

“Is that a real gun?”

He turned around to meet the same youthful face, now a few shades redder. A few others seemed to tune into the conversation as well.

“It’s just, guns are illegal in Japan. I’ve never seen one before,”

Ash smiled, “Is that so?”

“Can I hold it?” 

Those four words made everyone in the room freeze. The tension could be cut with a knife. Ash was indeed intrigued by this foreigner. He took a step forward and held out the pistol.

“Sure,”

He took the gun and handled it with care, turning it over tenderly in his palm before returning it.

“Thank you for trusting me with it,” the tone was soft, like Ash hadn’t just handed a loaded weapon to someone who definitely didn’t know how to use a gun.

Ash simply nodded. The other looked like he was on the verge of asking a question before his mentor interrupted, 

“Do you mind if I ask some questions?”

Aslan waved his hand in a ‘go ahead’ gesture and turned away from those inquisitive eyes.

~*~*~*~

Eiji wanted to melt into the floor. _Is that a real gun?_ The words made him cringe inside and he was honestly impressed he managed to go through that embarrassment a second time. Not to mention that blatant lie, _I’ve never seen one before_ , coming from the guy who just bought a glock yesterday… He was spared by Ibe’s interruption, Eiji really did not want to ask if Ash had killed anyone. In all honesty he wasn’t sure why the hell he had asked the gang leader that in the first place. As Eiji stewed in humiliation, Skipper pulled him over to a table and bought him a drink.

“I’m surprised you had it in you! You seemed pretty sure of yourself when you walked in here, but under Ash’s gaze you floundered!”

Eiji turned a little red at the sheer truth of the statement. Under those intense eyes he was like putty. He quickly took a large swig of the rum and coke.

“Ash never lets anyone touch his gun-” Skipper regaled him with a story of a drunkard who tried to and got his hand shot while Eiji’s heart fluttered. He dragged his hand down his face. He felt like a damn schoolgirl with a crush…

“You tell me this now?” He raised an eyebrow before taking out a cigarette and lighting the end, breathing in the smoke.

The kid laughed before continuing, 

“Well look on the bright side, Ash must like you if he let you hold it!”

“Hmm, I’ve heard he’s a sharp shooter.”

Skipper grinned before bragging about Ash’s skill with his gun, a Smith Wesson model. Eiji let that childish and excited voice fade into the background as he glanced at his watch. The ambush would happen soon. The anxiety from before was back full force and he took a heavy drag on his smoke.

“So, the boss’s name is Ash Lynx? Like a wildcat,” Eiji looked at Aslan with a fond gaze.

“Yeah, he can’t be tamed or caged in. It’s the perfect title,”

Eiji hummed and lit another cigarette. Any minute now. He found himself doubting his plans. Arthur had set the trap to capture Skip, so what if they just stayed in the bar instead? Eiji shook his head. If they did that there was no telling what happened, Skip or himself could get injured in the scuffle if they didn’t leave.

He saw a hand flash in front of his face,

“Eiji? You alright, you-” Skip was interrupted by commotion from the entrance. Shit.

As the bar erupted into chaos Eiji let the cigarette fall from his lips and dragged Skipper behind the bar with him. The kid looked at him and he saw a question in those round eyes, but Eiji focused on keeping his breathing steady. There was no use in getting frightened now or else he could make a mistake. They hid behind the counter until the sound of the gunshot and Charlie’s voice. Skip visibly relaxed and told Eiji it was alright now, but the teen was still strung taut. Then there was a knife to his face.

“Don’t move,”

He hit the man with a right hook before he could get any further, which was followed by Skip hitting him over the head with a bottle.

“Nice one Eiji!” The victory was short lived as more men appeared behind the counter. 

Skip tugged on his hand and they ran through the hallway to the escape route. Eiji kept up the pace and kept looking behind them. Even though he knew what was coming he couldn’t help the way his nerves felt fried and his chest felt empty.

Just as the grate was opened and just as Skipper heaved a sigh of relief two men came into view.

“Nice to see ya Skip,”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayo this chapter took so long,,, i was gonna end it after eiji first saw ash but i couldn't resist continuing until the ambush! i am so tired, i posted this with a little proofreading but lemme know if i made any errors, i finished this chapter at 4 am :))
> 
> also i loved writing that bit with ash's pov, i might have his perspective in upcoming chapters to *spice it up*


	5. Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Thank you, for saving my life,” 
> 
> While Aslan probably thought he was referencing the events from a few hours prior, Eiji was thinking of how he had genuinely, truly, saved his life. He had been saved from his life in Izumo, if he could even call it that. He had been rescued by Ash countless times, and even as Eiji had bled out in his apartment, he had been spared yet again once he looked into those jade eyes for the first time in seven years. Aslan was his guardian angel, his saviour, as much as that was cheesy. Eiji could only hope he would be able to return the favor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was very excited to write this chapter!! its a pretty long one, i wanted to get through this section of the plot :)
> 
> ALSO if you wanna cry listen to "butterfly's repose" and think of asheiji,,, i've been listening to sad playlists while writing bc i like to suffer heheeh

Right before Eiji and Skipper got shoved into the cramped car he whispered, 

“Don’t say anything Skip, don’t give them a reason to hurt you,”

The kid in question looked like he was scared but trying not to show it for Eiji’s sake. He gave a slight nod in response to his request. The elder could almost laugh at the display of bravery as he felt his hands shake. 

“Skipper!” 

Eiji looked through the glass of the car. Ash was running after the vehicle, gun in hand, as the driver began to speed off. Knowing what came next, Eiji held Skip close to him, hiding his face in the soft fabric of his sweater.

The gunshot rang out right next to his ear as brain matter and blood sprayed onto his face and the interior of the car. The sounds around him were distorted as his ears rang but he could vaguely hear their kidnappers express panic before the tires squealed and they picked up the speed. Eiji let go of Skip but tried to angle himself in a way where his body hid the deceased man. 

His efforts were a little futile given the amount of blood on his face as well as the carseats and windows, but he liked to think it was worth something. Skipper was trembling a bit and Eiji tried to wrap his arm around the other before he saw stars.

“Eiji! Stop hurting him!”

Ah. It seems their captor was a bit angry and had a hell of a right hook. The man muttered a few choice words before tugging Skip away from him, Eiji struggled and tried to get a hold of him before receiving another punch, this time to his stomach. He coughed and slumped forward. He had forgotten what it felt like to get beat up, remembering that in the other timeline he had remained relatively unscratched before getting locked up at Dino’s. As his head sagged a bit and he couldn’t help but feel a little nostalgic. He was bullied quite a bit in school, at least before he joined the track and pole vaulting team. However, even then he was confronted after practice and received bruises from his so called ‘teammates’, as it turns out jealousy is a hell of a motive. It also reminded him of the smell of whisky and cigarettes, drunken yelling and smashed glasses, purple and yellow marks hidden beneath clothes.

Eiji managed to regain a bit of lucidity as they were tugged out of the car and led into a run down area. The buildings were dilapidated, with broken glass and crates everywhere. They were ushered into one of the entrances before having their hands duct taped quite tightly. Eiji couldn’t help the slight tremors all over his body as he began to sweat. Not only was he anxious about protecting Skip, but it turns out that he hadn’t taken any ‘medication’ for 12 hours. Shit. Withdrawal wasn’t pretty, Eiji had gone through it once or twice after trying to quit, but the aches and pains had been too much. Of course, time travel was a bitch and couldn’t even take away his cravings for substances. He was sure that only using for a few days like he had and stopping shouldn’t cause the cold sweats and shaking he was experiencing. 

As Skip and him were taken to an abandoned room the younger looked at him with concerned eyes and Eiji tried to smile, but it probably looked more like a grimace. He tried to relax a bit when the men left them, but his limbs felt cramped and the hit to his stomach earlier certainly wasn’t helping.

“Are you alright Eiji? That jerk hit you pretty hard,” Skip said softly, his hands fluttering around like he wanted to help but didn’t know how.

“It’s okay Skip, hopefully they’ll leave us alone for now… Just, don’t say anything to them alright? I don’t want them hurting you,”

The kid looked indignant at this proposal and opened his mouth before he was interrupted, 

“I’ll be okay, I promise. Don’t give these bullies a chance to get riled up, they don’t deserve the energy,”

Skipper seemed to deflate at that and nodded. The words might be a little harsh but Eiji would prefer to be the one getting injured and drawing attention rather than Skip. Just as he managed to find an angle that didn’t manage to aggravate the probably bruising injury, the door slammed open. Eiji couldn’t help but jump, he was on high alert and was already moving jerkily. Damn he really wanted _something_ right now, if only they left them alone longer he couldn’t just slipped a pill into his mouth.

The man who walked in scoffed at the pair before speaking in a gruff voice, 

“Come on, get up.”

Skip quickly sat up and Eiji tried to, but the captor was impatient and hauled him up by the arm. He let out a sound of protest but followed the other to the exit. Right before they left the room Eiji bent down to whisper, 

“Remember what I said alright Skip?” 

He hesitated before giving a nod, to which Eiji smiled. The expression was quickly wiped off his face as he saw Marvin. Oh how Eiji wanted to sucker punch that man until his brains leaked out of his ears. He was the one to kill Skipper, a child, an innocent kid. He hadn’t seen how it played out but Aslan had recounted the events, how all Skip had done was call out his name before getting filled with lead. Rage filled Eiji and his blood boiled as Marvin smirked at him, probably thinking about him in the same lewd way he thought about Ash. Ash had never told him explicitly if the oaf had done anything to him before, but just from the way the man leered at him… He really wanted to wipe that condescending look off his face.

“Feisty are we? Haven’t seen you hanging around Ash, you one of their bitches?”

Eiji remained quiet but Skip stepped forward, probably to give a biting remark. However, before he could utter a word Eiji cut him off and shielded his small body, 

_“You’re a piece of shit, I’ll cut that grin off your damn face you perverted old man,”_

Marvin had the audacity to laugh, if only he knew the profanity that had spilled from Eiji’s lips. He held in a growl as they were led to the entrance. He tried to prepare himself to see Arthur’s ugly mug, one of the other people he wanted to smash into a pulp. To be honest the anger he was able to feel scared him a bit. Even in the other timeline Eiji had felt furious, but he hadn’t exactly had the facilities to act on those emotions. Now he was this close to grabbing one of their pistols and ending it right now, damn the timeline.

Just as those thoughts were coursing through his head, the two cronies lifted the shutters. The sound of metal screeching grated on his ears and he winced. They walked into the street and Eiji saw that dumbass troll Arthur speaking to Ash, telling him to drop his gun.

Once again, Skip looked like he wanted to intervene, but Eiji gave a slight shake of his head and the kid bit his lip.

“Let them go,” Ash uttered, words clipped.

Arthur only sniggered before turning to Eiji and giving him a once-over.

“Ash, who’s this? My men said he’s a bit twitchy and tried to protect Skip, isn’t that cute?” 

Eiji didn’t think he could hate Arthur more, but when the men grasped his face and jerked his head aside to inspect the bruising on his cheek, he could barely contain his rage.

“Keep your dirty hands off him!” Skip yelled, and he internally face-palmed.

Arthur let out a huff of laughter before turning his gaze back onto Eiji.

“Kill him,”

Despite the gun pointed at his temple, he was calm. Ash had intervened last time, he wouldn’t let an innocent person die.

At those words Aslan clicked his tongue and tossed his gun onto the floor.

“You and your ways disgust me,”

Arthur smirked before walking to pick it up, “What an admirable boss, looking after his boys…”

Eiji winced as the sound of fist hitting skin echoed. His own bruise throbbed in sympathy. As soon as Ash was restrained they were separated and Eiji wanted to struggle and stay with him but he knew he couldn’t. Patience was key here, but his was running thin. It was harder to go with the natural events because he _knew_ , he _knew_ exactly who those scumbags were, everything they had done. All the pain they had caused Aslan, both in the past, and what they were going to do in the future. 

Soon enough he and Skip were tossed back into the room. Eiji sat and turned away from Skip, taking this opportunity to nudge his shoe off and grab the knife. The kid raised his eyebrows before grinning.

“You’re full of surprises aren’t ya Eiji!” 

Eiji returned the smile before cutting the tape, handing Skipper the knife to cut his own bonds. Afterwards he slipped the weapon into his pocket and glanced at the figure next to him. He couldn’t very well slip a pill under his tongue while they were in such close proximity. While Skip was still a child, he spent time around gangs and presumably, drugs. There was no way he wouldn’t recognize the small white capsule for what it was, and there wasn’t a good excuse that it was medication because… Who the hell just had their prescriptions in a bag in their pocket? He groaned and pulled his shoe back on. He’d just have to wait until the other nodded off, which wasn’t likely given the gravity of the situation. 

There wasn’t much conversation as they waited in the dark room. They were surrounded by broken down boxes and grime, nothing particularly helpful for an escape. Not that Eiji was too worried about that, he knew Ash would manage to knock out Marvin and they would make it out of here. The emphasis Eiji wanted to put on ‘make it out here _alive_ ’. There was no logical way he could clear the wall and somehow carry Skip with him, and there was no other exit that he knew of that wasn’t heavily guarded. He had debated for hours last night on the plan of action, but managed to scrape something together. He just hoped it would pay off.

Eii turned his attention back to Skip, who was curled up with his head tucked into his legs. That would have to do. Eiji slipped the bag out of his pocket along with the knife, poking a hole into the plastic as discreetly as he could before dry swallowing a pill. The sensation of it sliding down his throat was unpleasant to say the least, but he knew once it kicked in the cold sweats and trembling would cease.

He folded up the bag and shoved it back into his pants, placing the knife in the opposite pocket. Just as he did so the door was unceremoniously thrown open, Ash tossed onto the dirty concrete. Skip looked up and let out a cry of dismay. 

“Are you okay Ash? What did those bastards do to you?” 

Eiji was seething but managed to rein it in as Aslan sat back against the wall, flinching away from their touch. The elder gave a soft smile before taking off his sweater and the knife. He cut the fabric into strips, tucking a few into his pocket before turning to the blond 

“Give me your arm,” he said, holding up the pieces of cloth.

Ash hesitated before holding out the limb. Eiji tied the makeshift bandages around the wound before finishing. The blond gave a grunt of discomfort.

“Sorry about the pain, I needed to stop the bleeding,” he said sympathetically. He paused and his next words came out soft, barely above a whisper.

“Thank you, for saving my life,” 

While Aslan probably thought he was referencing the events from a few hours prior, Eiji was thinking of how he had genuinely, truly, saved his life. He had been saved from his life in Izumo, if he could even call it that. He had been rescued by Ash countless times, and even as Eiji had bled out in his apartment, he had been spared yet again once he looked into those jade eyes for the first time in seven years. Aslan was his guardian angel, his saviour, as much as that was cheesy. Eiji could only hope he would be able to return the favor. He flushed a little as he thought about how cliche he sounded before Ash’s response permeated the silence.

“You might wish I hadn’t… They aren’t going to let us die easily,” 

Just as he finished his sentence the door creaked open, revealing Marvin’s ugly mug. 

“How are you doing Ash?” 

Eiji fumed as he could tell those eyes were roving all over the blond’s body even from behind those tinted glasses. He really had to reel in his emotions if he didn’t want to act out and screw everything up.

The teen sneered before asking what was going to happen to them. Marvin tried to make it seem like they wouldn’t be harmed if Ash bent the knee to Dino and came crawling back, but he really didn’t know the Lynx at all if he thought he would beg for forgiveness and grovel before that bastard.

“I want to talk to you alone,” Ash uttered, and Eiji really hated how the old man’s face lit up with hunger.

“Leave us,” 

Queue Arthur angrily screaming, like usual, before he was dragged away by henchmen. The door slid close and Marvin stepped into the room.

Skip huddled closer and whispered to him, 

“He’s gay, he likes Ash,” to which Eiji wanted to blurt, _yeah, me too_ , but his gut clenched at comparing himself to that pig Marvin.

“Not in front of them… Take me somewhere we can be alone,”

Said pig inched closer to them and Eiji fought the urge to recoil in disgust.

“Can you help me up? I think me ribs are broken,”

Marvin, the idiot, complied, to which Ash responded by twisting his arm and knocking him out before he could let out a squeak. Skip jumped up excitedly before proclaiming he knew boss would be able to get them out.

They snuck out of the room, hesitantly turning the corner before running out of the compound. Eiji heard yells behind them as the cronies saw them disappear into another alleyway. They sped through the maze of crumbling buildings before being faced with a brick wall.

“A dead end?” Skipper said in disbelief, kicking the ground. 

Ash just looked defeated, panting and holding his ribs in pain. Eiji, on the other hand, began to wrench a rusted pipe from its foundations. 

“Good thinking Eiji, let’s put up a fight!”

Eiji chuckled a little before telling them he was going to jump over the wall. He was met with a pair of shocked faces before Ash spoke,

“You’re insane, if that rusted pipe breaks you’ll be dead,”

Eiji dug the pole into the ground while responding, 

“I’ve jumped higher walls in Japan,” 

Yeah, he had cleared higher walls _almost a decade ago,_ but he couldn’t afford to doubt himself now.

The two still looked concerned, Skippers brow was creased as he agreed with Ash.

“Yeah! And there’s no mats on the other side either!”

Eiji looked at them before saying with conviction,

“I’d rather die trying to escape than doing nothing,” 

As he heard voices growing nearer he took out the knife and handed it to Ash.

“You’ll need this more than me,” 

Eiji didn’t look at his expression before backing up and making a running start.

He breathed in and calmed himself before making the jump. He was soaring, the air was blowing in his face, and the first rays of dawn hit him. However he could scarcely enjoy the moment as he landed with a crash. Glass was embedded in his arm, and he quickly pulled out the fragment before retrieving the scraps of his sweater from before and hastily tied it around the wound. He took off with a sprint, he needed to get to the police station as fast as he could.

~*~*~*~

Eiji walked up to the first person he saw. He knew he looked a little crazy, what with the makeshift bandage and blood splatters, but he put on what he hoped was a friendly face and approached a woman who was walking by.

“Excuse me ma’am can I please borrow your phone, I need to contact the police.”

She looked put off by the sight of him but handed over the phone after looking at his bloodied arm. He nodded a thanks before dialing in the number.

“City Police Headquarters please,” he muttered, tapping his foot impatiently. He was connected and sighed in relief before requesting officer Jenkins or Charlie. A gruff voice picked up the phone, and Eiji forwent any formalities, 

“Jenkins, this is Eiji, Ash and Skip are being held by Marvin and Arthur at the East River wharf.’

“What-”

“East River wharf Jenkins, I’m heading to the station now, tell Ibe I’m alright, and to meet me at the front,” he rushed out before hanging up.

He quickly thanked the woman who looked significantly more pale after overhearing the conversation. Eiji didn’t spare her a second glance before waving down a taxi. He praised the gods that one of the vehicles stopped for him even though he was practically leaking blood. 

The driver didn’t even get a word in before Eiji uttered, 

“City Police Headquarters. Get there as fast as you can and I’ll pay you extra,” it was a bit ironic asking the man to break the speed limit to get him to a police station, but he only let out a sigh before warning Eiji not to bleed onto the carpet or seats.

Speaking of, he pressed his arm as much as he could even though the spike of pain made him whimper. The bandages had helped and he hadn’t lost as much blood as before, but he needed to get stitched up sooner rather than later. 

The cab sped through the streets and they arrived at the station quick enough. As the vehicle pulled up the man held his hand out and Eiji told him he would get the money from a friend. The driver glared but he was already out of the car and was met with a distraught Ibe. 

_“Eiji, are you alright? I didn’t want to think the worst, but I’m so glad you’re okay!”_

The elder spoke in rushed Japanese before embracing him in a bear hug. Eiji let out a protest of pain before Ibe withdrew and noticed the blood.

_“Eiji! You’re hurt-”_

“You getting my money there boy?” The driver’s harsh tone rang out from the cab. Eiji turned to Ibe, who gave a few bills to the man, who gave a pleased smile before peeling away.

_“We need to get you patched up,”_ Ibe said, concern still on his face. Eiji felt a bit of warmth in his chest but he was still tense. He couldn’t afford to be put on bedrest in the station’s clinic while the cops and Shorter were rounding up forces to storm the warehouse. 

He was quickly led to a small room that smelled of antiseptic and chemicals, and Eiji wrinkled his nose before they were met with a nurse. Ibe left the room, probably chasing down Charlie or Jenkins. The man in scrubs whose name tag read ‘Anderson’ looked a bit startled before ushering him to sit on one of the cots. Eiji didn’t let him get a word in before speaking, 

“I got cut by glass, I’m pretty sure I didn’t cut a major artery or lose too much blood, so I only need stitches right?” 

The man looked dubious and looked Eiji over before peeling back the bandages, inspecting the wounds on his body. Whatever he gleaned from the assessment didn’t make him happy as a grimace slid onto his face.

“You need stitches and probably an IV. Blood transfusion wouldn’t hurt either, the bruising is minor, you should be fine if you rest.” 

Eiji really wanted to yell, he refused to sit and be treated while he could be actively saving Skip and Ash. He set his jaw before choosing his next words carefully.

“Could you do the sutures without anesthetic? I need to leave soon too, I’ll come back if I need anything else.”

Anderson sucked in air through his teeth and his tone was icy when he responded, 

“I’ll do the stitches but if you pass out don’t come crying to me.”

Eiji also thought he heard the nurse mutter _‘brat’_ under his breath before bringing equipment over.

After the wound was cleaned and the needle began to pierce his skin Charlie and Jenkins walked in. Eiji filled them in on the situation as the nurse sewed him up. He tried not to let his voice shake from the pain but damn did it hurt. He had been unconscious last time, and without anaesthetic it felt like hell. Focusing on the cops he continued explaining the situation. He finished and was battered with a few questions before the two nodded. Anderson tied the thread and wrapped his arm with proper bandages just as Jenkins stepped out of the room. 

He was given a few pieces of advice about the stitches, and that he shouldn’t participate in any strenuous activities, but the nurse honestly just looked like he wanted Eiji to get the hell out.

Eiji nodded like he was actually listening before turning his attention to Charlie. He wanted to ask if he could go with them to the wharf but there was no way a civilian, much less an injured one, would be allowed to accompany police to bust the joint. Even if Eiji broached the topic it would tip them off to his true intentions to escape the station and rescue Skipper and Ash himself. Therefore he bit his tongue and shrugged his shirt back on with a twinge of pain. It was then that Ibe entered along with Eiji’s duffel. 

“I brought your things to the station as soon as you were gone. Thought you might want to change out of those bloody rags,”

Eiji could squeeze Ibe to death, this man was a godsend. Instead he played it cool and reached for the bag, thanking his mentor. Charlie and Ibe left the room and the nurse entered an attached office. Eiji quickly shed his shirt and pulled on a loose black long sleeve before searching through the layers of clothing. His hand brushed a cold object and he triumphantly pulled out the sleek glock. He checked the chamber and stuffed it into his waistband before rifling through the bag some more. The second pocket knife was stowed away carefully, which he wedged in his sock. Thankfully he had also put a wad of cash in the outer corner which he pocketed as well. His other contraband remained untouched, and he rolled the small bags into a pair of socks just as the door opened again. 

Ibe gave him a smile and Eiji zipped the bag closed and swung it over his shoulder.

_“Are you alright staying here for a while? Jenkins and Charlie want to question you when they get back from the raid,”_

Eiji gave the most innocent smile he could.

_“Of course, are you sure they’ll be safe? The men I met were pretty intimidating,”_ he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as Ibe’s face scrunched up into concern again.

_“I’m sure they will be fine Eiji, honestly you should worry more about yourself,”_

Eiji laughed at that as they walked into the hallway. He was dropped off at Charlie’s desk as Ibe went to speak to someone or another. As soon as he was out of sight Eiji scoured the drawers. A taxi was his first option, and it would work in a pinch, but if he found the keys to a car…. He almost wept in joy as he opened one of the compartments. Laying there was a badge, wallet, and a set of keys. The car key was like a found treasure and Eiji swiped it while internally apologizing to Charlie and standing up. He swayed a bit before holding onto the desk for support. 

_Okay, maybe the nurse had a point…_

He didn’t dawdle, quickly weaving between officers who barely seemed to notice a scrawny teen in the sea of uniforms and suits. Eiji exited from a side door and kept an eye out for Charlie’s car. He had seen the vehicle a few times, but his memory was a bit foggy. He spotted an old green automobile and clicked the keys. The lights flashed, bingo.

Eiji reversed out of the space after looking in the rearview, speeding out of the parking lot and into the streets. He had paid attention on the taxi drive here, and took the same route. He could only praise whatever divine entities existed that the secluded roads were relatively empty as he drove at a breakneck speed. His driving was a little rusty but it’s not like he was paying attention to the traffic laws anyway.

He made it to the wharf and ditched the car a little ways away before removing the knife and placing it in his hand. The gun was a last resort…. At least for the time being. Eiji calmed his nerves and slipped another pill in his mouth before stilling himself. He could do this.

He sprinted towards the edges of the buildings and slipped through alleyways. Just as he was about to turn another corner he felt himself being pulled back by his shirt. He brandished the knife and whipper around before being met by a shock of purple hair. Shorter. Eiji’s eye’s teared up and he resisted the urge to embrace the other.

He was joined by Alex, Bones, and a few other members that he couldn’t put a name to.

Alex eyed him as Eiji lowered the knife slowly. His face flickered with recognition before speaking,

“You’re that reporter guy from Japan right? You were doing some article on the gang... Ash let you hold his gun.”

Shorter let out a sound of shock as Bones confirmed the story. Eiji shifted his weight as Alex spoke again.

“You were taken hostage along with Skip right? Do you remember where you were held?”

He gave a nod before informing the group that there were multiple armed men tasked with guarding the building.

The group looked at him like, perhaps a bit suspicious by his willingness to help, but he was clapped on the shoulder.

“Lead the way,”

Eiji continued and soon enough they encountered some henchmen. Shorter brandished a crowbar and soon the rest of the gang joined the fight. Eiji himself flipped out the pocket knife, but he was more focused on getting to Skip and slipping through the flurry of weapons and fists. This mindset showed when he got slashed in the side. So much for being level headed. In return he slugged the man in the jaw and dashed away before he could be injured further.

EIji’s anxiety ramped up as he spotted another group, this time with guns, stepping with weapons raised. As Shorter, Alex, and Bones hid behind storage containers Eiji slipped into the alley. There was no way he would be able to get to them in this situation unless he wanted to get filled with lead…

The chemicals in his veins made his heart beat even faster as he opened the back door of the building he had previously been held in. He ran through the halls, trying to get to the entrance fast enough. Each slap of his shoes against the concrete felt like one more second wasted. 

He vaguely heard police sirens and people running. Eiji hid behind the wall until the flurry of sounds dimmed somewhat, and continued to sprint. He slowed down as he saw the back of Marvin, pointing a gun at Ash, and a man standing behind a bound Skipper.

_Shit._

He didn’t have time. It was like sand slipping through his fingers. All the planning and this would end up just like before. 

Eiji shook his head. He refused. In a split second decision he drew the gun and ran up to the man, his steps gone unnoticed amidst the sounds of chaos. He pistol whipped the back of his head and he crumpled like a doll to the ground. He saw Ash’s eyes widen in shock, but Eiji quickly wrapped Skipper in his arms, abandoning the gun on the floor.

Sharp pain erupted in his shoulder. It was white hot, all encompassing. The same cutting sensation hit his side a millisecond later and he heard Skipper gasp. Eiji held him closer, hoping to shield the small body from any more injuries. He could feel the warmth and blood soaking his clothes as he tried to breathe through the agony. He thought he heard yelling. 

He tried to grip Skip tighter but his hands were slick from the blood running down his arm. His strength was failing too, and he slumped to the side. It felt like he was submerged underwater, his senses dulled with the pain being his only anchor. Suddenly he was shifted and met beautiful green eyes framed by pale lashes. Eiji could see the smattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose and the flecks of blue in those jade irises. The golden blond hair that hung over his face was like a halo. 

Eiji let himself sink into those arms.

His angel was here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhaha you guys like that ending? :)
> 
> (also you really only go through withdrawal after using consistently for a period of time but lets pretend eiji maintained his drug dependent body even after time travel alright 🏃)
> 
> **(next update may be in awhile because im not doing very well rn, but i hope you all enjoyed this chapter!)


	6. Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eiji smiled before telling a story about a boy who would do anything to please his parents. A child who wanted approval from a greedy father and an absent father. How as that child grew older, so did the pressure and the consequences of failure. How the pressure made his ankle snap, a bird with clipped wings who fell from the sky. The flightless sparrow who was trying to do everything right, but for the wrong reasons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **DISCLAIMER: i searched and searched but i couldn't find out how much time passed between certain scenes! like, the amount of time between ash being in police custody/arrested and arriving at prison (the only hint that more than a day or two? passed is his injuries being gone)
> 
> therefore i took a few liberties so that the certain scenes/conversations could take place! im sure the plot could have gone on without them but ehhh i felt like writing them
> 
> (also: memories are in italics, quotes in italics mean that eiji/ibe are speaking japanese)
> 
> TW: implied abuse/self-harm

_“Eiji wake up! I thought you stopped doing this shit. Ash wouldn’t want this and you know it too! I swear to God if you don’t open your eyes right now I’ll fucking-”_

_Sings voice was shrill but muffled at the same time. It leaned more towards baritone now that he was so much older, but Eiji’s addled mind couldn’t help to still think of him as the little kid who idolized Ash._

**_Ash._ **

_Was Aslan here too?_

_There was a bright light flashed into his eyes and he groaned before curling into himself. His senses were filtering back through his muddled mind. There was an overwhelming smell of astringent alcohol. The sharpness made him nauseous._

_The floor was cold and a bit wet. There was a vague pain radiating up his arms but he could barely lift his eyelids, it was a feat he was able to squint. Maybe if he opened them he could see Ash again._

_He didn’t see green irises. They were dark, obsidian even. The hair was cut short, a few shades darker than his irises. The tanned face was riddled with concern, but there was underlying…. Disappointment._

_Eiji didn’t want to look. He averted his eyes and saw what was causing him discomfort. Shards of glass littered his arms. A shattered bottle of whiskey lay a few feet away._

_The figure above him transformed into a hulking figure that stank of cigarettes and anger. Eiji drew into himself even more and barely felt the daggers dig themselves deeper into his soft flesh._

_The yelling grew louder as the person tugged on him. Eiji was tired. He wanted the hurt to stop._

  
  


~*~*~*~

White ceilings.

Fluorescent lights.

Thin rough sheets.

A dim beeping was the only thing heard, slowly the sounds of distant chatter joined in the symphony. 

_Where… Did Sing have to bring me to the hospital? But-_

The memories crashed into his head violently. Stealing Charlie’s car. Running to rescue Skipper and Ash. Seeing Shorter, _alive_ , racing to stop Marvin from shooting-

“Skipper!”

Eiji shot up from the hospital cot before agony rippled through his body. He panted and his vision blurred but he didn’t lay back down. As soon as the pain settled into a deep throb from his side and shoulder he heaved a breath and began to shift to the side of the bed. Each miniscule movement made him want to let out a whimper but he focused on getting up. He needed to make sure they were safe. 

Just as he managed to sidle to the edge of the bed the door slammed open and Eiji fell onto the floor. A clatter of equipment joined him in the descent and he fought to keep his eyes open as black spots danced in his vision. There was commotion surrounding him but Eiji didn’t care. He attempted to drag himself up but the effort was futile as his left shoulder lit up with sharp pain. 

Hands softly grasped his shoulder but he flinched away. He was struggling to get air into his lungs as his breaths were more akin to wheezing. There was then a faint prick into his arm as the agony began to dissolve into whisps. Eiji managed to briefly open his eyes and was met with two doctors. He was able to shift his attention to the doorway. A smaller figure was racing towards him as a tall man stood in the doorway. Just as Eiji’s consciousness started to fade he managed to pick out curly black hair, dark skin, and round eyes filled with molasses. 

As he was swept into darkness the coil of anxiety in his chest loosened.

~*~*~*~

The next time that Eiji opened his eyes the room was dark and drenched in shadows. His heart quickly picked up but once his vision adjusted he was able to relax into the cot. Ibe was sleeping in the hospital chair across from him and he saw a card to his right. The piece of parchment had a few rudimentary drawings on it, vaguely Eiji shaped, and a bird. He traced the colorful lines and chuckled a little, breathing in a sigh of relief. A few moments later he was able to accept that he was acting too recklessly. 

What he did was necessary, Eiji knew that deep down… but he also recognized his actions were something he would have chided Ash for. In the previous timeline he had always fumbled around Aslan’s brash behavior, wanting to point out that his lynx was worth more, he didn’t need to throw himself into the gunfire to prove his worth. However, even then, naive Eiji had known that the same reckless behavior often saved multiple people, and it was even needed in some cases. He wanted to categorize shielding Skipper as something that couldn’t have been avoided, but the doubt had already been planted in his mind. 

The replacements for his self-sacrifice weren’t any better. Shooting Marvin would ensure Skipper’s safety and prevent Ash’s imprisonment, even if it meant his own arrest…

Eiji’s eyes widened and he moved into a sitting position, albeit more slowly than the first time. The pain had been dulled by some exquisite medication no doubt. He could barely enjoy the feeling of numbness as the thoughts of Ash going to the state prison flitted through his mind. In his current sluggish state he could probably stand but there was a good chance he was at an actual hospital for his bullet wounds, not the smaller med bay in the station where Ash was likely held. All the planning he had worked on and it went up in dust. 

As he let out a noise of frustration Ibe shifted in his chair before he blinked and rushed to Eiji’s bedside. There was a stream of Japanese tumbling from his mouth, most of it concerned rambling, some of it reprimanding his so-called heroics. The barrage of words seemed to halt as the man acknowledged the lack of response and Eiji’s pensive face. 

_“Eiji… Are you in pain? Do I need to call someone?”_

The younger clenched his fists before speaking.

_“Where’s Skipper? And Ash, was he hurt by Marvin? I remember seeing him before, and Skip too…”_

He trailed off and tried to grasp at the memories. Just as the pieces were being put together Ibe laid a hand on his shoulder and spoke softly.

He recalled the events from a few hours prior. Eiji had been released from a two hour surgery from his wounds, the only complications being that he had lost a large amount of blood, alongside a high heart rate. Apparently he had woken up in a confused state before trying to leave the room which was followed by a slight panic attack. Ibe’s tone made him want to shrivel up inside. His mentor was kind, so he wouldn’t bring up the obvious or pester Eiji with questions, but he could sense the hesitance in that voice. 

Eiji’s parents were not kind people, they were rough around the edges but still sharp enough to cut and inflict damage. His father, Hayato Okumura, was a force to be reckoned with, a strong man who expected only the best from his eldest child. Eiji had staggered and wilted under the pressure from his parents, as grades weren’t enough to satisfy them, only a future and money could sate their greed. Even then, he was constantly reminded that he was expendable, only really kept around to care for his younger sister and the house while his father was in the hospital and his mother was out drinking. Ibe had never seen the full truth that laid behind the doors of the small Okumura house, Eiji had tried to seal whatever cracks and fissures that appeared. However there were particular instances where things would slip through the gaps.

When Eiji would come to his office an hour early sporting a tired face and shaking hands. The times where he would stay late to file any work and let it slip that there was nobody waiting at home for him anyway. Those blunders led to the man making a few deductions and keeping a closer eye on Eiji. He hated the worry that would slide onto his mentor’s face when he refused to take off his jacket in the heat, or when there were bandages riddling his face to cover marks and scratches. Ibe had enough on his plate to deal with his problems. That was when Eiji resolved to seal the cracks, anything to lift the concerned expression off his face. 

Gradually but surely it had worked. He didn’t linger around doing menial work, and he would show up at the appropriate time. Eiji used makeup to hide the bruising and scratches from the rings that cut his face when his mother decided to take it out on him. When he needed to release pent up emotions he would turn to a bottle like dear old dad instead of leaving more marks on his arms. Over the course of a few weeks he had everything hidden beneath the surface. Of course, every once and awhile he had to duck away when the anxiety of going home made it hard to breathe or talk, but by that point Ibe’s worries were assuaged. Eiji was sure the man had drawn the conclusion that all the injuries were the result of bullying and the like, and the younger let him believe that. In reality the scuffles behind the school were miniscule and Eiji would prefer to face them than look at the disappointment and disgust when his parents looked at him.

It was worth the damage when Ibe stopped glancing at him with pity and unanswered questions, but that effort was swept away as Eiji peered into his eyes again. He had barely been listening as he retreated into his mind, an old coping mechanism he had tried to end in this timeline. He couldn’t afford to blank out just because he wasn’t able to deal with his problems. His issues weren’t of importance when other people had suffered and gone through so much more.

He worried his lip as Ibe finished the recounting of events and mustered up the courage to ask about Skipper and Ash. The question had barely left his lips before light filtered into his room and Charlie and Jenkins stepped inside. Eiji flushed a bit and remembered the green beat up car he had sped off in… he should probably apologize.

“Charlie, I’m so sorry I took your car, I just wanted to help Ash and Skip. I knew you wouldn’t let me come with you so I just…” 

He trailed off and looked up at the detective, who surprisingly didn’t have a trace of anger on his face.

“It’s alright kid. Well, not alright, but I somewhat understand. Ibe wouldn’t want me to encourage you, but you did save Skip before we even had a chance to. That doesn’t mean you should ever jump in front of danger again though,” the man said, sounding more tired than actually mad about a teenager speeding off in his vehicle to a shoot-out.

Jenkins looked a bit more stunted before he sighed and spoke,

“I hate to agree with Charlie but he’s right. We would have moved in sooner but we needed approval to launch the raid. Skipper is safe, you shielded him from any mortal wounds,” Ibe glared at that phrasing as Eiji rubbed his neck, “he was a bit scratched up from Golzine’s men, and I’m sure you bleeding out in front of him did no wonders for his mental state. However, he’s doing alright. From what I know he’s with Alex and the rest of the gang right now, he visited earlier but I heard you were pretty out of it.”

Eiji flushed. So, everyone had heard about his little breakdown slash memory lapse? Great. The humiliation lifted for a second as Charlie picked up where Jenkins left off.

“Ash is… physically he’s treated, but,” the man paused hesitantly, “they caught him in the same room where Marvin was shot dead. Evanstine, the head of that area, has him arrested. We just talked to him before coming to you, currently he’s resting at the station, but they want him transferred to the State Prison. We’re arranging for some protection behind the walls since Max is there too, but there’s not much else we can do,”

Eiji knew that was coming but it still made his stomach lurch. He picked at his nails as the adults seemed to have a silent conversation above his head. Ibe let out a sigh of exasperation before Charlie’s voice rang in the quiet room.

“We don’t have much time before he’s transferred, maybe six hours at the most. If Ash has any information on Golzine we could be able to help him more, but he won’t say anything to us.”

“You think he’ll talk to me?” Eiji questioned, though he already knew the answer.

“He saved you, a stranger at the time, plus you took a bullet for Skipper. Ash cares deeply for the kid and I can’t imagine how grateful he is.”

Eiji didn’t like this game of manipulation, using his suicidal heroics to twist some answers out of the gang leader, but he needed to see Aslan nonetheless. He agreed to the terms and the two cops left, leaving Ibe and him to stew in the silence.

_“Will I have to return to Japan after this?”_

Eiji spoke softly. Internally he was yelling _‘I’m not leaving_ **_him_ ** _unless you pump me full of drugs and haul me onto a plane with my hands tied’_ , but a sense of unease was creeping up on him anyways. After all, he had gone back to Izumo after being shot in the stomach on accident, this time he had purposefully stood in front of the firing squad.

Ibe dragged a hand down his face before meeting Eiji’s eyes.

_“Eiji… I don’t want to force you to go back. I think based on your decisions before it’s obvious you would find some way to come back here and protect people in need,”_

A soft smile formed on his face before continuing, albeit with a more serious tone.

_“However, what you did was very dangerous. I understand that it was somewhat a fluke accident that you were put in that situation, but I don’t want to send you to Izumo in a casket.”_

Eiji nodded stoically and avoided looking at him in the eye.

_“I took you with me to get your mind off things at home, to give you a breath of fresh air. This… wasn’t what I had in mind, but I was watching you at that bar. Talking to Skipper and Ash you were more lively than I ever saw you, and I don’t even remember when I had last seen you converse with your friends in Japan. If you have found companionship with people here I don’t want to rip it away from you.”_

The younger couldn’t help the tears that escaped from his eyes as he embraced Ibe. A twinge of pain raced up his arm from the position but didn’t withdraw. They had only been working together for a little less than a year but this man made him feel safer than his father ever would.

Ibe let out a chuckle and patted him on the back. 

_“I also didn’t know you smoked Ei-chan,”_

Eiji laughed wetly before drawing back.

_“Bad habit picked up from my parents I guess,”_

(Yeah, so was the drinking, bad coping mechanisms, and the pills.) 

The elder only huffed, clapping him on the arm once more before a nurse and doctor entered the room with a clipboard. They fiddled with a few of the mechanisms and machines surrounding the bed before the doctor raised an eyebrow as Ibe.

“You’re not his guardian, correct?” 

The woman spoke tersely as Ibe shrank back a bit and nodded.

“It’s up to the patient if he wants you to stay, otherwise you need to vacate the room.”

Eiji thought about the amount of pills he had taken before being carted to the hospital, along with the scarring that littered his legs and shoulders. No, nope, Ibe was not going to be subject to whatever this woman was about to say.

“It’s alright Ibe, I’ll meet you in the hallway in a few,”

After he left Eiji was alone with the intimidating lady who looked down at him from behind a pair of spectacles. She flipped through her papers and tapped her clipboard before breaking the silence.

“One gunshot wound to the patient’s left shoulder and a graze on the right abdomen. You’re lucky, if the first shot had been further to the right it could have punctured a lung or caused serious internal bleeding.”

He shriveled under her gaze but her eyes shone with a bit of sympathy before continuing.

“Your operation was simple, but you lost a lot of blood. The man you were with said you didn’t have any pre-existing conditions that would explain it,

We also found some capsules on your person. Not to mention some serious scarring and just from a little probing, a few bones that haven’t healed correctly after breaking.”

Eiji kept his mouth shut and grit his teeth. No cheap excuse would work against an actual medical professional. The doctor sighed and fixed him with a less intense stare.

“Look kid, I know you’re not from this area, it’s easy to just take whatever is pushed into your hands and not question it. However, I need to caution you that these things have serious effects and once you start it’s easy to become dependent. Especially if you’re dealing with some heavy stuff, which from what I saw it looks like you are.

Some cops were in here earlier but I presume they weren’t visiting for your possession of amphetamines. I could care less about the police and I won’t inform the man that accompanied you about this, but you need to know what you’re getting into. The drugs increased your heart rate and caused your blood to thin, which was the reason you lost so much of it. I disposed of the pills that you had, and I won’t do much else, but I don’t want to see you here again under different circumstances.”

The speech was admirable and maybe if Eiji wasn’t already hooked on multiple types of drugs it would even be inspiring, but honestly he was just glad the woman was keeping her lips sealed. 

After the whole ‘drug bad’ talk she informed him that he should avoid excess activity. He didn’t have to be in a wheelchair (bless, he didn’t want to deal with that again), just a sling for his shoulder to prevent too much movement. She also handed him a few prescriptions for antibiotics and pain, the latter which she warned was to be used sparingly. 

As soon as the clack of her heels left the room Eiji stood and drew back the privacy curtains, digging through the duffle bag Ibe left with him. He checked to make sure his ‘supply’ was intact, which thankfully it was. The idea that Ibe, Charlie, and Jenkins had access to said bag for however long he was unconscious made him shiver, but he pushed those thoughts to the side. He quickly dressed in worn out jeans and a loose sweater, trying not to pant after getting his left limb from the arm hole. The nurse fitted him with a sling and he thanked her before stepping outside and joining Ibe. 

His whole body thrummed, some from the constant anxiety, but mostly in anticipation of seeing Skipper, _alive._ Of course there was a flutter in his stomach after thinking about getting to talk with Aslan, he would always turn to putty under that gaze.

The first rays of light were filtering through the windows and Eiji remembered how he had taken flight over that brick wall as dawn had risen.

~*~*~*~

The sight that met his eyes when he stepped inside Ash’s room made a torrent of butterflies flap and tap dance all over his heart. Eiji was sure his complexion was beet red and he tried to resist the urge to cover his face in embarrassment. It wasn’t his fault Aslan was effortlessly looking like a saint! 

Just as he managed to compose himself a bit, the man himself took notice of the figure standing right in the doorway.

As his face turned a splash of sunlight lit up his hair, making the locks appear as if golden threads. His skin was almost translucent as well, and Eiji remembered how he had compared Ash to an angel before, well damn he was nearing god-like perfection. Just as he was categorizing the beauties of one Aslan Jade Callenreese a voice pierced the silence.

“Eiji? Is that you?” 

The way his name was uttered in such a soft tone almost made Eiji choke on his spit. He made a somewhat quick recovery and nodded before moving to sit in the chair across from Ash.

The silence was a bit stifling and Eiji really didn’t know how to talk to someone who watched him get shot and bleed out in his arms… 

“So, how are you?” 

Deflect. Yes, deflecting was good, it was a skill he had honed from years with his parents, he was quite good at-

“You got shot twice by that ass Marvin and you’re asking how I am?”

Ash looked at him with a wry smile but his eyes held that familiar glint of concern. _Damn it._ That delicate expression really had Eiji falling for him all over again. Pushing the soft mushy feelings out of the way he let out an awkward cough.

“I mean, I’m still alive? The surgery went alright, no complications-”

“You could have _died_ ,” Aslan’s voice had a slight wobble to it, almost imperceptible if Eiji hadn’t known him so well. He cursed himself for making the other feel sadness, for making him have to watch another person almost die in front of him.

The elder let out a soft apology, which was followed by a snort of laughter. The sudden shift in mood had Eiji snapping his head up. 

“I don’t want you to say sorry for saving Skip. Damn, I’m really bad at this,” he pouted a little and Eiji’s heart fluttered, “I’m trying to say that I’m glad you’re still here. I don’t know what would have happened if Skipper had died, and I also don’t know how I can repay you for what you did… You flew. I didn’t know it was possible, but one moment you were on silent ground, and the next you were soaring.”

Ash had been staring at his hands for quite a while, but when he finished his string of sentences he peered into what felt like Eiji’s soul. In that moment, he knew whatever he endured in this timeline was worth it. It was like everything clicked.

Eiji smiled before telling a story about a boy who would do anything to please his parents. A child who wanted approval from a greedy father and an absent mother. How as that child grew older, so did the pressure and the consequences of failure. How the pressure made his ankle snap, a bird with clipped wings who fell from the sky. The flightless sparrow who was trying to do everything right, but for the wrong reasons.

He knew it was greedy to spill his heart out to someone who was still closer to a stranger than a confidant. Especially when the story had so many gaps, painful memories that he wasn’t sure he would ever divulge to anybody. However, reading the blonds expression he was sure Ash had an inkling to the words unsaid. 

The teen sighed before leaning back onto the bed. 

“I guess such things happen in Japan too?”

Eiji gave a mirthless laugh as his answer. He decided that was enough tragic heart to heart and asked if Skip had been by. Ash’s eyes lit up and he complained about the little munchkin being too rowdy, complaining that he had only seen Eiji for a few minutes before being ushered out of the room. Eiji chuckled at the retelling but his heart clenched a bit. The same thought crossed his mind from before, did _everyone_ have to know about that little instance? Of course, he didn’t mind Ash knowing but still.

They continued to converse for a while longer before the younger heaved a sigh and asked if Charlie had told Eiji about seeing him.

He grinned before responding, 

“Well, of course he did, but it was a good excuse to see you anyways,”

He wasn’t sure if his eyes were playing tricks on him, but a dusting of blush seemed to highlight those pale cheeks. Aslan huffed before crossing his arms, looking ready to combat whatever Eiji was about to say to convince him to divulge his ‘trump card’.

“I won’t ask you though,”

The younger raised his eyebrows at that sentence, like he couldn’t believe someone didn’t want something from him or have ulterior motives. The thought made his chest ache before he continued, 

“I don’t really know what they want, but I think you should tell them yourself. Since you haven’t said anything to them then I think they already have their answer,” he responded cheekily, because honestly what did the detective expect when they sent in little innocent Ei-chan to manipulate the intimidating street-gang boss Ash Lynx?

“So, even a guy like you hates the police and their mind games huh.”

Eiji nodded with a serious face, arms crossed and all. Glancing at his watch told him that Ash would have to be transferred soon. The thought made his skin crawl, but he tried to enjoy the company for the time being, drinking in the sunshine like a deprived house plant. 

Because really, being with Ash was more sustaining than any other type of nutrients.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really loved turning the tables and having eiji tell ash about his past! ofc eiji didn't go super into detail but i mean ash probably knows what he was implying if that wasn't clear (if it wasn't lol sorry). i tried to have eiji's recovery be somewhat accurate? emphasis on tried, it may be utter bullshit!
> 
> **this update came a bit quicker than i thought! i wasn't sure if i'd be up to writing since my mental health is usually pretty bad and its hard to stay motivated, but thank you for all the positive feedback and support :) i keep saying it but im so happy that people like this fic!!
> 
> LAST NOTE SORRY: the first scene with sing was a flashback, as the timeline progresses there will be more glimpses into eiji's 'past' ;0 get ready for the pain guys lmao


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